


the more things seem to change

by SongOfWizardry



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Caleb Widogast Needs a Hug, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Nott | Veth Brenatto Needs a Hug, Post-Episode: c02e097 The Fancy and the Fooled, introspective
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-20
Updated: 2020-07-20
Packaged: 2021-03-05 05:35:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,231
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25409275
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SongOfWizardry/pseuds/SongOfWizardry
Summary: ... the more they stay the same.or, sometime after her transformation, Veth examines her halfling senses, considers nightmares, and thinks about the familiarity of a certain wizard.
Relationships: Nott | Veth Brenatto & Caleb Widogast
Comments: 10
Kudos: 92





	the more things seem to change

They hadn’t roomed together in a while.

Veth didn’t think any of them had been intending to double up, either—it had just sort of _happened_ , the Nein falling into old habits from when they had less money, less magic, less safety. She couldn’t say she was upset about it. She didn’t like being alone. It still reminded her too much of the empty, lonely time just after she’d been changed.

So this was nice. This feeling – the sheets warm with someone else, the weight of Caleb’s legs behind her back – it was comforting, and familiar, and _nice._

But. But, she still couldn’t sleep. It was all too much the same, but still too _different_. She fit differently into the bracket of Caleb’s knees, more height and more curves. His breathing sounded different to her halfling ears. She could barely see in the dark room now, couldn’t pick out the creases in his clothes, could only just make out the shape of an arm as it fell over the side of the bed.

Veth hadn’t thought, of all things, she’d miss her darkvision. But it was harder to remember things were there when all she could see of them were these blurry dark suggestions. She kept her eyes closed, instead, pressed her back closer against Caleb, and listened to his familiar-different breathing.

Halfling ears or not, though, she could still hear when the pattern changed—the sharp intake of breath, the sudden, unnatural stillness as he came awake and forced his body not to move, the breaths coming faster and unsteadier now. She had woken up to this, to Caleb’s quiet nightmares, often enough.

Back when she was Nott, Veth thought, opening her eyes, she would have been able to look over. She would have been able to see if Caleb’s eyes were open or screwed shut, if he was lying shoulders back and perfectly still or biting into a fist, if he was completely back in this time and place, or still somewhere in his mind. But because she was Veth, she could do none of those things.

Instead, she took a gamble.

“Caleb?” she asked. “Bad dream?”

There was a brief moment of silence, and Veth started to worry that he had woken up from the nightmare only to slip into memory, but then she heard an exhale, and Caleb said, voice rough with sleep, “ _Ja_. Sorry, did not—didn’t mean to wake you.”

“You didn’t,” Veth said. On impulse, she crawled up the bed – even with these eyes, she could make out the shape of Caleb lying right at the edge of the bed, like he was going to fall off, his face turned away from her – and sat on the pillow, next to his head. After a moment, he turned over to face her. Veth wondered how much he could see.

Caleb’s breaths were still coming sharp and erratic. She reached out, and after a moment, found one of his hands, balled into a tight fist, and pulled it closer. The gesture was familiar, but Caleb’s skin felt different. To her goblin hands, Caleb’s hands had seemed large and smooth, but Veth’s own hands were softer, fingers more sensitive, and now she could feel the calluses on Caleb’s skin better, the worn marks left behind from years of magic. She hadn’t realised until she’d had it back how much of the sensation – soft skin against soft, digits full of nerves and feeling – of having her own hands she’d missed. Distantly, she thought of the skin-coloured gloves she’d bought, months ago. Their colour hadn’t been quite right, and they’d fit badly over Nott’s goblin claws. As she considered this, she ran her hands over Caleb’s still-trembling fingers, back and forth and back and forth.

This motion, too, was familiar.

Caleb was counting now, under his breath, in Zemnian. Veth listened, and waited, and eventually Caleb’s breaths came slower, and the counting stopped. In the silence, she squeezed the hand in her lap. Caleb’s fist loosened, and he turned his hand to fully hold hers, and squeezed.

“You okay, Caleb?” she asked. Her voice sounded too loud in the night, but she’d never been good at whispering.

Something that could’ve been a soft chuckle came from Caleb. “Veth the Brave,” he said, instead, quietly, “You really are something, you know that?”

Veth didn’t know how to respond to that, so she just squeezed his hand back, and leant back against the wall. Now that the rush of having to check in on her boy was gone, her eyes felt heavy. “What time is it?” she asked.

“A quarter past one.”

“Hmm.” Veth, still holding on to Caleb’s hand, wondered if Luc had nightmares too. Did Yeza know what to do? Veth has always had nightmares, even before everything, but Yeza had always slept soundly. Maybe she’d speak to him about it, maybe she would talk him through the breathing and the soft gestures and the quiet, calming, repetitiveness.

Or maybe Yeza had nightmares _now,_ after everything. Nightmares she didn’t know about. It would make sense, after the whole goblin-capture-dead-wife-Cerberus-Assembly-Dynasty-prisoner experience. The thought made Veth‘s stomach twist, with a now-familiar mix of sadness and longing and guilt and helplessness. Almost involuntarily, she squeezed Caleb’s hand once more.

“You’re falling asleep,” Caleb’s voice said.

Veth turned her head towards him. She still could see next to nothing. “‘M not, it’s fine, Caleb.”

Caleb sighed, but she could hear the amusement in it. That was good. “Veth, it’s late. Go back to sleep.” Even in the dark, the way he shifted and raised one arm to make space was a clear invitation.

Veth hesitated for a moment more, then let go of Caleb’s hand (no longer shaking, now) and slid down the mattress next to him, curling into his side. “What about you?” she asked, as his arm settled around her, the motion practiced and comfortable. “You going to sleep?”

“I will get there, _schatz_. Worry not.”

His voice rumbled through his chest. Veth pressed an ear – _her_ ear, halfling ear – against his shirt, and listened. His heart, she thought, was still beating a bit fast, but not worryingly so. He was calming. That was good. After a moment, Caleb’s hand settled on top of her head. It stilled there for a few breaths. Veth waited. Then, slowly, haltingly, he began to run his fingers through her hair.

It felt different. She hadn’t thought about the fact that her hair, her scalp, would feel different. But Caleb hadn’t done this since she had been changed back, and suddenly, something small and tight that she hadn’t known was lodged in her chest loosened, and she pressed her head closer, tighter, against Caleb. She’d missed this. She hadn’t realised she was missing it.

Caleb’s hand stilled. “Veth? Is this–this is okay, yes?”

Veth breathed in, and out. “ _Ja_ ,” she said, and as she’d hoped, the mangling of accent made Caleb huff out a soft laugh. “Very okay.”

“Okay.” Caleb’s fingers continued carding through her hair. He hummed softly. “Go to sleep, _schatz_. I’ll see you in the morning.”

Veth let her eyes fall shut, and listened, once more, to Caleb’s heartbeat. She thought it sounded normal now—steady, regular, calm. Familiar as always. That was good.

She counted the heartbeats, in her head, in halfling. And between _seventeen_ and _eighteen_ , she was asleep.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first CR fanfic, because I've fallen fully in love with this fandom! You can find me on tumblr at [@songofwizardry](http://songofwizardry.tumblr.com/). I am so, so desperately fond of these two.


End file.
